A boring monday. A lazy monday. A tiring monday. A procrastinating monday. A promise-breaking monday. An unloyal monday. A monday for no beginnings.
Holidays, nothing but stay at home and rot. Better this way, rot today, decompose tomorrow, n' biodegrade for a few days. So many things need to be done, yet much left undone, how to prepare myself for saturday to hav fun??
20 years old soon. Still irresponsible, still immature, still so stubborn, still so childish, still so shy, still such a coward. Gosh, when will I ever grow to be more sensible??
Comparing myself to others, I feel so different. Why can't I feel indifferent even for just one day? People are doing so well? But look at me......
There's so much I wanna do. I wanna learn cycling. I wanna learn rollerblading. I wanna learn many many new sports. I have the time, I have the resources, so what is pulling me back? My friends, where are you people? Who are my true friends? Who are my buddies? Who really comes to my aid when I need them? Searching myself, I've been watching, I've been waiting.
Meaningful post? Meaningless post? For you guys to judge. For you guys to decide.
the ball bounced @ 3/28/2005 09:27:00 PM
Sunday, March 27, 2005
As I read from my peer-teaching notes, keeping a journal allows one to project and purge all stress and distress from the inside. So, I guess I'm not making effective use of this blog after all. In fact, it has become stressful to submit blog entries, as my life becomes more dry n' dull.
Life has been so dry. Nothing spectacular. Nothing unusual. Nothing uplifting. Nothing encouraging. Nothing motivating. Indeed, life has nothing in stalled for me, or am I juz not taking the initiative to search for my own commitment and fulfillment?
Looking back at the exam papers. Seems that HR papers are not easy at all. Need to memorise Employment Acts and Industrial Relations. Need to know about Quality Work Life. Need to know about Wellness Programmes. As if monday's scare was not terrifying enough, the RHRA paper today based 33 marks worth of questions on a single chapter!!~ Luckily, I could manage the remaining 70% of the paper. Sub paper, sub paper, please leave me alone, I do not wanna hav anything to do with ya. On the other hand, the Corp Comm papers were much easier, imagine scoring 15-20 marks based on language alone, sounds good rite?~ That's precisely what I'm thinking of.
Holidays start as soon as I finished my final paper today. Coming up dere's my birthday, camps and more camps. SL camp, FOC, Week Zero......can't wait for them to happen. Old faces, new faces, past acquaintances, present friendships and future relationships, all meet at this junction of fate and destiny.
I think you're deliberately scaring pple away, cos' u'r afraid to interact with pple. U know, opening ur heart and letting them come in, & soon they'll get to know the REAL u. This sense of insecurity and uncertainty pulls u back frm being the natural u --- Pensacola, Wings of Gold
the ball bounced @ 3/27/2005 02:16:00 AM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
I'm so BEI!!~ I'm so down on my luck.
As if monday's series of unfortunate events were not enough, misfortune befell on me today yet again. That's right, this is week is my SUAY week, certified, confirmed guarantee plus chop/stamp. I'm super SUAY beginning since monday, n' has been so ever til now. Can u believe it? After enjoying 19 years of simplicity, disaster had to struck me by pushin all the bad luck to ME!~
Okie okie, before I continue my rambling, here's wat exactly happened --- all of a sudden this afternoon, my spectacles got spoilt, the sides of the frames snapped. It just snapped, without any warning or forecast, it just failed me.
Sent my specs for repair, fixes due in 3-4 days time. Oh dear oh dear, for this coming few days, I hav to go without my glasses. Everything looks like dots to me. Faces look like mosaic to me. Pictures look like colours to me. Food looks like patches of colour to me. Things are no longer the way they used to be. No matter whoever tried to curse me, congratulations, you have succeeded in ur devious scheme, which only someone as diabolical as u could even conjure of. Gd Luck to ur future "try to take over the world" projects.
"Use your heart to see the world, not your eyes", they say.
the ball bounced @ 3/16/2005 10:41:00 PM
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
TEO HAN WEI. CAN U DUN CALL ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, THEN START BECOMING SLEEPY, N' COMPLETELY TURN YOURSELF OFF FROM OUR CONVERSATION? SUCH A BEHAVIOUR OF YOURS IS HIGHLY INTOLERABLE, IMPOLITE, UNETHICAL AND UNBECOMING OF YOU!!!~
Met fren at amk this afternoon, I was late. Reached home, bro ate my lunch. Helped mum prepare the table for dinner, slipped while she was mopping the floor. Knocked myself against my doorknob. Tried to play online game, but com hang. Msn was down for awhile.
My Series of Unfortunate Events
the ball bounced @ 3/15/2005 02:47:00 AM
Sunday, March 13, 2005
I went for another NE Forum again. Again, I was one of the panellists. We were so under manpowered, luckily the situation was under our control. Once again, I did not have a chance to post a single question to the guest speaker.
Yesyerday's NE was abt Crime is a Choice. There was a short skit by an arts group followed by a speech by a representative of the Singapore Police Force. The Q & A was very enjoyable, as students posed alot of questions regarding crimes, offences and penalties. Mr De Silva tried to answer all of them to the best of the knowledge. The Q&A session was hyped-up when Mr. Jeffrey Seah posed one question to Mr. De Silva, after which, students continued walking to the mikes to clear their doubts. And because of the spontaneous speaker and the enthusiastic audience, once again, I didn't have my chance to ask question. Xavier, my fellow pannelist asked the first question, n' that was all the panellists did. Oh ya... not forgetting to give credits to Desiree for this was her first NE Forum n' oso her first time as an Emcee-cum-moderator.
This evening was the event I was looking most forward to, as it was our Stamford Primary School 6/1 Class Reunion BBQ Gathering. For the past 7-8 years, we havn't seen each other, wonder how they are doing in life. GREAT!!~ we had teachers, lawyers, doctors, frogman divers, officers n' many NS men. Dr. Kenneth is currently studying medical in NUS, where he will be re-enlisted in 7 years time after he finished his studies, housemanship and internship. Yinwei intends to pursue law in NUS. Alynna is currently first year in NIE n' she intends to teach mother tongue upon her graduation. They are all doing very well. I feel like such a loser. I want to achieve something in my life too!!~
We had steaks, chicken wings, marshmellows, hot dogs, bee hoon n' fish for our BBQ at ECP Pit 31. We had our class photo taken, a pity not all was present. The guys had all turned into stout young men. The girls well...... pretty young attractive females. Again, I feel so sore. What have I became in these 7-8 years? Nothing. I'm still the same old me. Boring, uninteresting, plain, dull, quiet, reserved, introvert, stiff, dumb, naive, childish. Somebody save me!!!~ This is a cry for help!!!~
Pauline brought her dog along. Doggie was so small and cute, n' her name was DuDu. She licked my thumb, wow. Never did I hav such close contact with a doggie before. I'm not good with kittens and doggies, not good with girls. The only thing I'm good with are guys. *sHuDDers*
Oh yes, the first girl I ever tried to jio was present yesterday too. My pri sch classmate. Haha, the recklessness and immaturity of me 5 years ago, come to think of it, was quite funny too.
I feel happy for them, having attained what they dreamt of, their ambitions. I feel sorry for myself, having achieved nothing. I'm such a failure.
They say only fools speak, n' wise men listen. but, I'm juz trying to act cool, a real fool I am.
the ball bounced @ 3/13/2005 11:39:00 AM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Return when you borrow, Not difficult to borrow again tomorrow.
However, some pple on this earth are just so lucky and fortunate to need not have to return at all n' yet be able to feast and feast like a king. Shadn't point finger here, it's quite obvious hu la...
Hmm......last tutorial for PCC this morning. Tutorial at 9am, reached sch at 0920 hrs. Got feedback from tutor, as well as Case Study for exams. Tutorial ended at 0950 hrs.
Next, went to help Eric prepare his cart for business operation. Business was discourgaging and demotivating, as well as unsupportive and absolutely negative. Carely earned enough commission on consignment to cover for daily rental... I pity Eric argh...a htm student trying to raise funds to finance his overseas trip for his upcoming Global Citizenship cds subject.
Met up with hanwooOOooiii after everything ended at ard 1730+ for makan. Went to his neighbourhood, ordered Jumbo House Grill and Spring Chicken, as well as 2 soups and 2 cups of Teh-O Bing~ He's a real jerk, made me eat all the unhealthy stuff, such as the chicken skins and beef tendons...gosh, sure to gain extra pounds lol!~
Was too full after this munchin' for my da pau dinner from my grandma's at Jurong. Ate just a little bit so as not to waste the mushrooms and sea cucumbers. Guilty abt wasting food sia... whose fault, not pointing finger, again it's quite obvious hu la...
Let me make this clear, free lunch, free dinner, free food, are previleges that are ONLY entitled to hw, others, ur turn will come as soon as hw leaves sch in 2 weeks time.
the wise knows when it's appropriate to let go, fools rush in and continue holding on.
Since I'm prepared to let go, might as well say how it started. It was during the TP Pageant scouting. Yes u heard it right, the feelings have already surfaced way back then. But now, I will just move on. I have no regrets. I can only hope that u r still my fren, n' I will still show concern if u'r ill or sick, in bliss or in sorrow, happy or sad.
the ball bounced @ 3/12/2005 12:10:00 AM
Friday, March 11, 2005
"Return when u borrow, Easier to borrow again tomorrow."
Someone forgot to bring wallet to sch... So?? I still had to take care of his lunch n' dinner. Better return me the money tmr, or else I'll tear down ur house.
Helped Eric manage his Cart store for a few hours today... But hor, the cart I set up one leh. Had such a sense of accomplishment when I finished oding the decorations n' everything for the cart. In case u guys dunno, dere's a joke going round for Laser Torch Pointers... clue: "OU"
Silly me, finished my packeted lunch n' threw the plastic bag away which contained an extra set of chopsticks n' spoon... Found out tt I had accidentally sent Eric's eating tools to the rubbish bin. Oh my!~ Oh my!~
Den went for final n' last CDS Leadership & Character class. Not surprisingly, quite a number of them didn't turn up. Suddenly, the class became more manageable. After 4 presentations, our 2 facilitators wrapped up the whole Subject in abt 10 minutes or so.
HanwooOOooiii jio me go opp. sch A1 Penang Chendol stall for drinks. We end up ordering 2 ice smoothies, french fries n' spaghetti. He damn buey pai seh, still wanted fries from Technos after such a heavy munchin'. Couldn't b bothered with his cries n' pleas, *bleah!*
Mum called me to go Bedok to look for her juz as I was waiting for Bus 23 to go home, so bo bianz but travel via 69 to Bedok interchange. Tried the KFC Salad, expensive n' not filling at all.
Wanted to catch the Mediacorp Channel 8 9pm show, so we both agreed to take cab chiong home.
The Beginning of the End The End of the Beginning
the ball bounced @ 3/11/2005 01:01:00 AM
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Today.
Saw erin.
Saw janice.
Lunch with timothy.
Walked with ah tan.
End.
the ball bounced @ 3/09/2005 05:24:00 PM
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Idiot!~ Lousy day today.
Woke up at 8 plus to prepare to go out. Hanwei asked me to go meet him at TM at 1030. Left home ard 10am, on my way to sch, kenna rammed by a bicycle. The front wheels rubbed against my right leg. Superficial wound, but inner anger and rage overwhelmed my peaceful soul. :(
Took bus to TP interchange. As I was abt to reach, I called hanwei hp. Idiot!~ He say he in lounge. Stupid BUGGER!~ He say he scared I dua him again. FUCK!~ If I wanted to dua him, I would hav done so long long ago, n' many many times liao~ Would I hav to wait until 08/03/2005, FUCK la~ :(
*deleted*
Anger aside, more important stuff, unfinished business, unsolved problems, endless worries, eternal sorrow. I muz start to let everything fall in its rightful place. Important days to note: wed & thurs. Why? Well...tt's for me to know, n u to find out.
the ball bounced @ 3/08/2005 11:16:00 PM
Monday, March 07, 2005
Today is my baby cousin's first month since childbirth, back on CNY Day 2, 5am in the morning. Woke up early in the morning to prepare for logistic duties. Simply put, was to help my mum and accompany her to deliver the cakes and red eggs to some of the relatives. Travelled ard the entire map of Singapore, from Toa Payoh to Pasir Ris to Bedok to Jurong. Ironically, while it was downpour in the West, the sun was bright in the East.
We set off at 12, den finished the whole logistics thingy at ard 1530, when we headed to my auntie's house for the catered buffet lunch. Omg!~ some of the items were cleared up by the guests, some leftovers here n dere. Nevertheless, had my fill with the yummies...~
Saw my baby cousin for the 1ST TIME!~! He's small, chubby n' keEEeEeWt. Small eyes, adorable cheeks n' those short but spiky hair, so much like his father.
Went to S J house to chill for awhile after I reached home. I was abt to leave home ard 2205, den he said wanted to chat, so...he told me abt his problems, n' I listened like a stiff trunk of wood. Left his house at 0000.
Role-play for CSK2 tmr, lecture at 9am, now still havn't sleep... zen me ban zen me ban??
the ball bounced @ 3/07/2005 01:27:00 AM
Saturday, March 05, 2005
At last, the exhausting week is finally over. Monday - CSK 2 Summative Test Tuesday- CJP Speech Writing Graded Assignment Wednesday- Wellnesss Presentation for HRM Thursday- Presentation for CDS Leadership & Character Friday- Corp Comm ICC Services Showcase Presentation Saturday- Panellist for NE Forum
Mon: The summative test was hard as hell. Tues: It took me 3 hours juz to complete that damn speech. Wed: Yoga and Aerobics was fun. Thurs: The tutor described me as a passionate speaker, and confrontational during the Q&A session. Fri: The powerpoint lack details and information. Sat: Didn't get to ask question during as a panellist, juz sat down dere like a dummy.
Hmm...woke up at 7 this morning to prepare to goto sch. Morning call frm buddy, which wasn't so as I've oredi woken up b4 the phone rang. Rumbled on n on n on n on until 0740... he got a taste of my juz-woke-up wrath and fury, not bad hey ya?~
After the NE tok, found out something kiez?~ Javin has a chinese name, n' he can speak mandarin -- Javin Singh Jia Ming, kEEEwwWWt rite??~~ N' oh my gosh, he knows abt it too now...OH well......
Hmm...hung out wif the BA peeps after the event. Went to central, then pastamania for lunch. No food, I juz ordered a caffe latte. The drink tasted blend initially, cos' I forgot to add raw sugar. After adding, it still tasted blend, but oh...well~
Had some really great conversations. We spoke abt the gay manager who had an awesome body. We spoke about religion and stuff, mostly abt Catholics, Christians, Presbyteranians and Methodists. We discussed abt Satan, Lucifer, God, Hotel California, Larry King, Marilyn Manson.
The next part was even more exciting. Ghosts & encounters with the supernatural. They all shared their stories, except myself. Pontianaks, Oujia boards, haunted places. Conclusion, never ever play Oujia Board. If u want excitement and thrills, pick up something like kickboxing, kiteboarding, parachuting......juz dun mess with the ghoulies.
The girls also shared their experiences in an all girls school. Rugby, how girls are unexpectedly more rough than the boys.
Talked abt sch too, project mates, tutors, lecturers. Seems that everyone knows Simon Seah, with his notorious "why is the 5 cents coin so big? cos' I blew it" lame joke. Barbie Danial Jeremy, the "Grrrs" and the "dun pull ur shirt like that, u'll stretch the cotton".
Haha, you guessed it. A grp of 4 girls and 1 guys, which is me. Never had such a hearty and enjoyable conversation for eons & eons. BA peeps, u made my day.
I guess after all, I've made the right choice which was to join them for lunch today. As for hanwooOOiiiw, oh well, sorrie...I pang sei-ed u again..haha~~
N.A.me --> Yip Yao Ming
A.Ge --> 21
B.D.ae --> 03/31/1985
S.C.H.ool --> Temasek Polytechnic Business Grad
H.O.B.B.ies --> mangas and anime
J.o.h.a.r.i.W.i.n.dow --> Yaoda
