what aRe``you Looking foR ..

Monday, February 28, 2005

Alright, I admit it. This time I've lost my cool. I'm really getting DAMN frustrated by that impersonator in my tagboard. I guess......what comes around, goes around.

The previous week has been nothing but STRESS to me. Totally burnout. Projects, reports, presentations...I must be strong, I must take it. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I must be able to handle eveything thrown onto me.

Bless me Bless me...

sometimes u wait n' wait
but when the time really comes
u had to let it go
the tree or the forest

the ball bounced @ 2/28/2005 10:39:00 PM

Sunday, February 20, 2005

this is getting pointless,
life is getting meaningless.

time is priceless,
but the excitement is endless.

Y izit that when pple say they wanna throw away some things, but when the time really comes for them to discard them, they juz can't bear to do it, n' continue clinging onto them dearly?

Guess I do understand why now. You never know the importance of anything until you start to lose it.

I dun think I can ever be as happy as before.
I juz see no point in maintaining a smile wherever I go.
I'm sick n' tired of wearing a mask, put on masquerade, donning disguises, pretending to be somebody else.

The more I disguise,
The more I hate myself.

The more I try to be happy,
The more unhappy I become.

this shouldn't be the way,
you should make your day,
for the price you pay,
keeping yourself at bay,
find your own hay,
build a place of stay,
n' in paradise you may,
follow what I say,
n' in the end you'll find a way.

the ball bounced @ 2/20/2005 07:48:00 PM

Friday, February 18, 2005

Zhe ge ren hen Guai Lan
Xing wei Xia Lan
Jiang hua Hong Gan
Rang ren Du Lan
--- Teo Han Wei

dun ever make any assumption,
cos' nothing's to perfection

never get into a relation,
if u'r not prepared for a rejection

always make objections,
if dere's no room for negotiations

this is an indication,
we need motivation

under certain conditions,
machines start to malfunction

dere is no solicitation,
for this piece of information

think creations,
make innovations

this is my imagination,
welcome to my revolution

Evolution!!~

the ball bounced @ 2/18/2005 10:10:00 PM

Thursday, February 17, 2005

You better lose yourself,
In the music, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go.
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow,
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime.

I feel like giving myself a second chance before my total retreat.
Success or failure, I will move on.
Wish me luck.

the ball bounced @ 2/17/2005 10:07:00 PM

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Wake Up you fool!!~
You dun really *heartx* that somebody, neither does she *heartx* you.
You are just a nobody.
Stop everything while you still have that little bit of dignity in you.

Hahahahaha......
it was just a dream...
I have differentiated virtuality from reality.

Damn, so many things to do, so little time.
Wish I could buy time, however "time" is Not-For-Sale.
Even if time could be bought, "Goods sold are non-returnable". This means that if I didn't spent time wisely, it would still be a waste.

this is a test
but I'm not givin my best

this is a test,
not for me to rest

dun talk so loud
just because you are proud

dun walk so fast
sekali you end up last

mess with my phone
no more ice cream cone

mess with my stuff
don't blame me for getting rough

jyanne...

the ball bounced @ 2/16/2005 08:47:00 PM

Monday, February 14, 2005

Today is Feb 14th, Valentines Day.
lonely lonely vdae... lonely lonely vdae...

Made a decision I wouldn't regret a few moments ago. The first step. Hopefully, I'm on the right track. The feeling is strong, the emotions are deep, the words are heartfelt, this is for real. Regrettably, the attraction's not mutual.

I need to be more comfortable speaking, be more open, most importantly, that is to be myself.
I am a piece of smelly beancurd, whom needs the authentic conoisseur to truly appreciate the taste I conceal within.

the ball bounced @ 2/14/2005 10:53:00 PM

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Staring out of my window.

u'r the one I've been waitin for,
u'r the one I've been pining for,
u'r the one I've been dreaming about,
without u the world feels so dry.

Rain.

the ball bounced @ 2/13/2005 01:09:00 PM

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Hurray!!~
I received my MBA today.
It's a long story......
but here goes:

Banker: 2+9+J= 21
Me: 2+Q+K= Bust

Banker: 6+6+9= 21
Me: 3+9+Q= Bust

Banker: A+3+4+5+8 = 5 dragon
Me: Q+10= 20

Banker: Blackjack
Me: K+10= 20

MBA= Money Blown Away

the ball bounced @ 2/12/2005 10:38:00 PM

Friday, February 11, 2005

The signal is getting stronger.
I am prepared for the worse.
Today's the 11th.
3 more days to the day when I wallow in self-pity every year.
A long way to go before I am anything.
A hard path to take, hope it becomes smoother towards the end.

What's CNY!~?? 15 days of goodies and ang baos and FUN!!~ The CNY to me this year, 2 days of missing someone truly, madly,deeply. CNY goodies taste like rubber and coke tastes like water without ur sweet presence. Winning blackjacks are no fun without u around. Moments of happiness and joy when u reply my smses are shortlived but unexpected. The word "Valentine" kepy reverberating in my head as I watched the movie Constantine.

the harder becomes smoother as u go further,
the easy path becomes harder as u go further.

the ball bounced @ 2/11/2005 10:01:00 PM

Thursday, February 10, 2005

nice pretty super star
how I ponder how u r
burning in the world so bright
like a fire in the dark
nice twinkling little star
how I ponder how u r

the ball bounced @ 2/10/2005 11:54:00 PM

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

The signal is clear, she ain't interested at all.
She says she's busy with projects.
4 project deadlines due next week, I can understand.
Still, I won't give up.
I shall try again.

the ball bounced @ 2/08/2005 09:07:00 PM

Monday, February 07, 2005

2 more days to CNY!!~ Yayee Yayee Yippee Yippee Yiee Yiee Yippie Yippie Yiee !!~

my bst pal HW went thru' some *chanGes* this weekend, on saturday, he was very very very very sad......cryin' on the phone somemore. then sunday, he was very very very very sick, high fever of 39.7 deg Celcius. hMmm...wonder if he oso cried sia... it was a blessing in disguise for him, cos' he was oso forgiven for god knows *I-dunno-wad-the-hell-happened* ~??

Thinking of someone only comes abt when I'm bored n' hav nothing to do. Guess that shouldn't be the way. However, thoughts of her do surface before I turn in for the night. My dream lover, the flower. Sat n' Sun nights were unbearable, coz' she was not around. No one to tok to to deliver me into sweet slumber.

See her in sch, act like I dun care..The more I see her, the more I do not dare to tok to her. This is a hurdle/obstacle, one that I must overcome, no matter how much effort it takes of me, no matter how much I am expected of. The first step, is always the hardest step. After that, it's up to fate.

the burning desire of the matter to express his feelings to the flower,
yet the flower still doesn't know, or is she just pretending to be ignorant?

the last person I wanna tok to before CNY is u,
the first person I wanna speak to after CNY is also u.

but, the courage to call, to approach u, I lack it
guess I'm just a coward.

the ball bounced @ 2/07/2005 08:21:00 PM

Sunday, February 06, 2005

You're Ryoma!

(Prince of Tennis) Which Seigaku Regular are you?
brought to you by

the ball bounced @ 2/06/2005 01:53:00 AM

Which Naruto Character Are You?
Test by naruto - kun.com

the ball bounced @ 2/06/2005 01:43:00 AM

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Simple words, simple english, can mean so much.
What was I doing at the walkway near the tennis court?
Why was I waiting at the bus stop?
If I knew I hadn't the guts to do anything, I wouldn't have waited at all.
Thinking back of the useless me, I feel so senseless and worthless.

the ball bounced @ 2/03/2005 10:02:00 PM

The flower blossoms, turning each petal into a symbol of elegance and beauty. The flower grows with radiance, nourished by the heartwarming rays of the sun. With each day passing by, the flower exudes grace and style. With each day passing by, the matter loses its self-worth and dignity. A notice, a look, a respond, is all the matter asks of the flower. Feelings are nothing but a speck of dirt to the flower. The matter hopes that this was all just a dream, a nightmare.

However, the matter knows that he has no right to interfere with the flower's life. Who is he to the flower? Where is his place in the flower's heart? The flower has many other blossom flowers and soulmates, the matter is just something unneeded and extra. The flower would have been much happier had she not known the matter. The matter tries to speak, but words don't come out from his mouth.

the ball bounced @ 2/03/2005 07:23:00 PM

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

The flower looked quite pale today. I wonder why. Wanted to ask, but lacked the guts. The matter should be contented with the flowers planted on it, yet it asks for more. On the other hand, the flower just waits for bees to come, without ever appreciating the matter for it's foundation.

the ball bounced @ 2/02/2005 09:39:00 PM

Tuesday is "goto the SU lounge day". haha...really ma?? actually is everyday is go SU lounge day la.

"I will walk until my legs can move no more. I will cry until my tears flow no more. I will bare my heart until you can "feel" the beat. I will pick up the last blade and fight on. I will think until my braincells run out. I will continue doing these until the apple tree turns into an orange tree. I will not give up."

"I am as weird as a stranger. I'm like the matter on which fresh flowers are planted upon. You are the thunderstorm that has intruded into my calm and peaceful life. Deceived, demotivated, discouraged, demoralized, discriminated, I will never give up."

"Let ME be the guardhouse that guides lost ships in the darkness,
Let ME be the walking stick that guides the blind,
Let ME be the chivalrous knight that brings justice upon the lands,
Let ME be the sprinkler that waters the plants with love and compassion,
But not only that, let ME be the one and only ."

zai...de xing fu guo du,
ni jiu shi wo wei yi,
wo wei yi ...de jiu shi ni
wo zhen de ...de jiu shi ni

the ball bounced @ 2/02/2005 01:50:00 AM

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

All's good today, except for hanwooOOooiii.

TP Pageant carried on smoothly wif the help of our log comm n' other sub committees. Kudos to PC for the interesting music and sound effects.

Wanted to return to class after pageant event ended, but met hw on the way, n' he suggested to go bookshop to grab something to munch. After much persuasion frm him, I decided to buy him a packet of those cheap cheap chocolates. Den we went to cybercentre n' chit chat for awhile, while hw waited for his turn to come to use the com to finish typing his project report.

Hw asked if we go S&K after sch to do some CNY shopping, n' I agreed. At around 1730, he finally appeared in front of me, along with yongzhuang n' his pal ray. We took bus 15 from opp. sch bus stop to Central. Hw, yongzhuang n' Ray had a small conversation on board the bus, b4 they alighted n' changed to bus 27. I couldn't fit intot heir conversation as they were tokkin' abt jeans, as in using coffee stains or bleaching powder to enhance the visual astonishments of the plain-looking pair of jeans.

This hanwooOOooiii ar, forever sibei kiam one leh, buy clothes must surely buy XXL or larger, XL can never satisfy him one leh. He only happy if the shirt is so big tt the sleeve covers his elbow. Dunnoe wad he's thinking man.~

We enjoyed our long-lost cuisine Roti John Special near hw's place. Jumbo teh tarik n' otak was something he introduced me to eat, n' I'm the one payin' duhZ!~ Still not full, he craved for some twister fries, n' so we went to MacDonalds, the last place we hanged out b4 going home.

Dear Dr. Teo Han Wei, dun tat pai act cute by making prank calls kkz, especially when the other party is someone u should zun1 jing4, xiao xin wo yi ba gen ni SLAP guo qu. Dun try to pinch ur nose n' say u'r the pizza delivery man can? Not farnie lehz. (pauses......) OUT!!~

the ball bounced @ 2/01/2005 01:11:00 AM